


Transparency

by anxiousgeek



Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Lord Ba'al, Mentions of dub-con, sort of sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 07:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7564852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousgeek/pseuds/anxiousgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both have secrets. Sam doesn't want them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transparency

**Author's Note:**

> A sort of sequel to [Compromise](http://archiveofourown.org/works/155099) but not necessary reading.

Sam Carter had a lot of secrets. 

They both did. 

Jack had spent most of his career building and burying secrets, Sam had spent most of hers working on secrets. She had always wanted their relationship - any relationship they had - to be a little more transparent. 

It hadn’t worked out how she wanted; not at first. There were no lies, was no dishonesty but there wasn’t the clarity that she had hoped for. She was happy though.

They were happy.

There were aches though, when his hand skimmed over a certain scar, when she woke from a nightmare to find him holding her, shushing her. When he said certain words, talked of certain missions. 

When she saw the same happening to him. The dark look in his eyes and the sad expression on his face. The lost look she remembered from when they first met, or from when he returned from several missions he’d been on without her.

When he’d returned from Edora. From being captured by Ba’al. From the moon with Maybourne. 

Some mornings he woke up that same broken man she’d met without her really knowing why and it tore at her but she couldn’t ask. Didn’t know how to ask. She had always assumed Jack didn’t know how to ask her the same questions, after so many years of silence. 

For a long time, she supposed that was true.

One day she woke up to find him watching her once more; not remembering any particular nightmare or feeling like she’d been thrashing about, hot, sweaty and distressed. He was worried though and when the sleep cleared from her eyes and her mind she could see the same signs she missed feeling in herself. A light sheen across his brow and deep wrinkles in her forehead, creases in his skin from lying too long in one position on messy bed sheets. He was holding himself up on his elbow, a little tremor in his arm that he neither hid nor acknowledged until she reached out to touch him.

“Jack.”

Her voice was hoarse and he waited until she’d cleared the sleep from her throat too before speaking.

“What happened?” he asked, pausing and Sam went over every little thing she had left out of her mission reports over the years. “With Ba’al. All those years ago.”

He settled a hand on her hip, smoothing his palm down thigh and back up slowly, eyes on her as she thought about Ba’al. She knew what he meant of course, knew exactly what incident he was asking about. Only one other person knew what she had done to secure their freedom and she was long gone. That memory caused her much more trouble than the little show that she’d put on for that Goa’uld and she took a sharp breath.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

She barely heard him say it but felt the way he tightened his grip on her hip. She smiled.

“No, I was just thinking about Janet.”

He didn’t reply but leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. He seemed to delight in comforting her as much as any other part of their relationship. More so sometimes. There were a dozen other stories and she wondered if he asked about Ba’al because of what he thought she had done with him, or perhaps because of his own nightmare. His mind was clearing too, waking up and he was pulling away again and she wondered if he would tell her what had happened with Ba’al, or on the moon, or a dozen other places.

Too many secrets.

“I didn’t touch him,” she started in a whisper and he pulled her closer. Shifting so he could wrap himself around her and hold her. 

Shifting so he didn’t have to look at her as she spoke. 

She let him though. 

“He touched me. Just briefly,” she continued. “Mostly I just let him watch.”

“Watch?”

“Watch me touch myself.” 

He was quiet but didn’t push her away like she expected. He didn’t have any more questions and after a little while she pulled away to look at him, not expecting the small smile on his face or the relaxed look there. 

“Does it help?” she asked, “knowing?”

“A little,” he admitted, “one less nightmare.”

She nodded, curling back into his embrace and thinking about all the other secrets they had. 

After a little while, when she realised neither would be falling asleep again but not feeling particularly inclined to move, she decided to ask a question of her own.

“What happened, when Ba’al took you prisoner?” she asked, looking at him. She had read the report but she could tell he’d left things out. There was a certain way of writing a report well enough to make sure no one asked any questions about missing information. Jack had honed that skill over years of special ops missions. Jack had taught her that skill.

“How much do you want to know?” he asked.

She didn’t hesitate when she answered.

“Everything.”


End file.
